It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize