He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
