the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
