You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Drake has all the answers
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
