My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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