operation have a gay friend backfired
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
