Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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