My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
