it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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