Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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