This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
