He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
