I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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