Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I need moral support for this bender
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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