It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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