i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
