I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
