Duck Duck Cougar?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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