I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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