He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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