so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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