well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
