And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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