Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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