As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
