What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize