Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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