My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
