There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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