Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
