she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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