The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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