it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
