he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize