And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
