2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize