he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
