I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
