i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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