I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
