i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
