i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
