maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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