Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
