Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize