We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
do nipples grow back?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
