Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
