he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
