I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
