she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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