You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
