Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
