I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
