I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
