My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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