He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
vagina is talking i cant
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
