i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
