The best revenge is premature balding
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
