I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
