You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
