My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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