I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
