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There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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