Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
