the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
