what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
