girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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