I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
