Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
